Something Beyond The Heart
by hyenagal
Summary: Four ShizNat ficlets. There's slapstick humour, a little drama, a little smut, and a little schmoop. Varying ratings.
1. Nuts and Sunshine

Summary: Natsuki pulls a Takeda. Erh… yeah.

Rating: G.

Disclaimer: They belong to Sunrise.

A/N: Obviously set sometime after episode 9. I know absolutely *nothing* about the workings of motor-bikes! Just ignore and everybody is much happier. Promise. shifty eyes.

* * *

Oookay.

So, the bike sputtering like this probably wasn't a good sign. Or the black smoke getting coughed from the exhaust pipe in small, fat, gleefully evil clouds for that matter. If clouds could be evil. Natsuki wasn't sure on that one.

But it surely did mean one thing: some major motorcycle reparation was called for. Pronto. So - since she wouldn't be able to drive home to her apartment on a broken motorcycle anyway, she figured that she was more or less forced to take a look at the problem here in the clearing (which happened to be her usual hiding place for the 'now-disabled' bike when she *did* decide to show up for classes) near Fuuka Academy.

Quickly pulling her thick gloves off, the teenager threw them on the saddle, started rummaging through the motorcycle's storage compartment for a while before finding the wrench she was looking for, and then - albeit grumpingly - dutifully went to work.

Despite the stupid situation...

She hadn't really noticed how sunny of a day it actually *was*:

Pleasantly warm, sure, if you just stood still, closed your eyes against the broad yellow rays hitting your face, trickling down through the branches and over your body in soft patterns of drifting temperature, whisper-presses against you. All of it cosy like an extensively long-worn sweater would be, but...

Goddamn hot if you were actually *doing* manual work of any kind. Which she did happen to be.

The dark leather, heating up at the same speed as asphalt would, was already starting to slightly cling to her sweaty flesh, as faint squeaking could be heard inside the suit with each movement she made, each circle her arm performed from elbow to wrist to... unscrew/re-screw the metal nuts she had to.

It was mainly the reason why - after ten minutes of concentrated fumbling with a decidedly stubborn nut that. just. wouldn't. get. *out* - that she decided to make herself more comfortable, since she was going to be working for some time still to come like this in any case.

Natsuki tiredly let the wrench fall from her hand to the grass as she stood. She wiped her damp hands on her thighs for two seconds, then took a quick look around, just to make sure - before she unzipped, freed her arms from inside the tight inferno they had been trapped in, and let the leathers drop to around her waist. She then looked down into the storage department again, retrieved her oil-stained white tank-top from the bottom of it, donned the piece of clothing, and, jeez, those sure were two instantly happy armpits!

'Freedom!', they seemed to gasp once they were exposed to the air.

She turned back around, only to find a curious lack of shiny wrench in the grass.

/Huh? Wait. Didn't I just.../

Ah, no need to worry, *there* it was - wrapped inside one of the bleary-eyed rodent-looking orange Orphan's tentacles, sitting a safe distance away from the bike and its owner, glaring at her.

She felt her lips instantly draw back in a snarl worthy of belonging to the biggest baddest wolf in the world as a vein started throbbing dangerously near bursting point in her left temple. "Oh no you don't! Not this again! Come here, you damn Orphan!"

The Orphan in question dumbly blinked at her before staring at the pretty 'Silver Metal Object' it had picked up. The biker felt like screaming in sheer frustration. Why wouldn't the small bastards just leave her alone? What had she ever done to deserve this? First panties, and now tools! Important, important everyday *things*!

"Give it back *now* or I swear I'll make you end up looking like a Swiss cheese!"

It seemed like a good threat to make at the time... even though the glob didn't look like it understood any of the growled words directed at it. She even got as far as stretching her arm out stiffly along her side in preparation to summon one of her guns to appear -

- before the small blur of orange shot off fast into the woods like a completely unnatural hare.

"Shit!"

And, of course, there was no time to materialize weapons or call for Duran when her legs had already, obviously, decided that following in the chase was a good idea. The only clever thing to do, actually.

Just run-run-run, keep her sight locked on the jelly-like culprit bounding in front of her, and how could she not catch it? Seeing as she was already gaining on it, close, closer, damn, a mere *inch* away from brushing its back with her reaching fingertips, running as fast as she could for what felt like five minutes when her prey unexpectedly leapt to the right, up onto the branch of a tree...

And then -

Well.

Something which wasn't really in the plan:

All of a sudden, she was sort of... no longer *in* the forest. Was, in fact, flying through the nearest bush, with too much speed to even try slowing down, and... colliding *hard* with someone else on the other side once she exploded through the lump of lush greenness, dragging leaves and twigs after her in a drizzling shower. Bringing whoever the person happened to be right along with her to the ground like an unflatteringly heavy sack of potatoes.

And that was... someone's *body* which she was now situated on top of, and...

When Natsuki finally dared to look down to see who's body she had indeed tackled, she wasn't sure she could feel more mortified.

Or, that was, after a split second. Then she realised she was mortified beyond human comprehension:

Loudly swallowing, she watched as the eyes beneath, wide with unchecked surprise for a few moments, quickly let that familiarly calm, enigmatic smile creep up into them. The curving lips following suit.

The blue-haired girl sensed her face grow unbearably hot, and she could only imagine how close the colour spreading from her cheeks to her ears matched the pair of the eyes she was staring into.

Because, yeah, this was another one of those episodes she would never be able to live down, wasn't it? All of a sudden, Natsuki felt like dying quite a lot, seeing as the Universe only seemed hellbent on embarrassing her at every and all possible opportunities that happened to present themselves. Now, if the earth would just kindly open up and *swallow* her...

Shizuru on the other hand, quite unbeknownst to the female atop, was convinced she had in fact ceased to live and then gone straight to Heaven. Being near a blushing Natsuki was always wonderful - but a Natsuki in a tank-top *and* pressed firmly against her...

"S- Shizuru," was the only thing the shocked teenager was able to croak out.

One slim brow arching, and the patented Amused Smile broke through. "My, Natsuki... you are aware that there are other ways to get my undivided attention? Although I do admit to this being a very effective way - somewhat rough, but undeniably effective -"

"Please! Shizuru, just... don't speak," the younger girl squeaked, voice unusually high-pitched.

It was fact then - Natsuki was going to die from embarrassment right on the spot. As simple as that.

And, hey, while the subject of 'humiliation' was up and turned -

Whatever made Natsuki glance up from her compromising position then she wasn't sure, but the comical expression spreading across Mai's face as she chose that exact moment to round the corner and spot the two of them, sprawled further ahead on the road near the school's outdoor tennis courts...

Actually seemed so ridiculously typical, at least when it came to Kuga Natsuki's general line of luck.

end.


	2. And Those Who Survive

Summary: That needed heart-to-heart after everything.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Why aren't they mine? Why?

A/N: Set after the karaoke get-together in episode 26. Other notes at the end of story.

* * *

What felt like a million horridly wailed sing-along songs later, and Natsuki was finally allowed to walk away from the torture, more or less unscathed, together with the rest of the gang:

Noisily spilling out of the Student Council room which had served as impromptu karaokebar for the evening, laughing, pushing the loud and carefree like only adolescents could. Aoi and Chie with their arms thrown around each other's waist, cheerful excited conversation echoing against the walls, hint of teen sweat on the air, and -

The moment had this indisputable feeling of profound *surrealness* to it.

Like... they had all been picked up and dropped down into a warped time zone by a Gulliver-sized hand. Or, all international clocks had been rewound, hands spinning with cartoonish top-speed, and their faces might start to stretch and morph into dead masks, animal visages, at any given second, accompanying psychedelic colours blazing in the corner of the mind's eye -

Yeah. Whatever made for hallucinations suffered during a severely bad acid trip.

At least she thought so. It was... strange. Definitely.

Because, lo and behold, there Tate had been, sitting on the floor at the foot of the table, next to Reito, and she'd *seen* the guy disintegrate into small green sparkles not that many days ago. Had even been there to hold a desperate Mai crying her eyes out after it happened. And here he was now, to all appearances well, healthy, desperately trying to pry a clingy, whining Shiho off his arm.

She was simply trying to adjust to the weirdness of it all. Nothing else.

Didn't the others feel the same way? Him, and Kazuya-kun, and...

Herself, and.

... Shizuru.

Natsuki supposed she had been lucky; they'd let her off the hook after two forced performances, after all. Which was, admittedly, good, but it hadn't necessarily meant the worst part was over anytime soon. No, no, *knew* that much, intuition never failing, even when she wished it would.

She sincerely doubted there was anything in the world which would ever erase the memory of Kanzaki-san and Kazuya-kun getting to their feet with their... 'avant-garde' rendition of "Y.M.C.A.", which they had all followingly been treated to.

Slightly disturbing experience on several highly conscious levels. The side effects were probably due to make their apperances in a day or two.

Her thoughts, slow and unfocused, give way to a growing awareness of... mild tactile sensation. Without light, the hallway outside the room is pointedly cool:

Like a tangible slither and drape of it around the body, intent on staying in the clothes if that meant it could trail outside to the bigger, the better, the real night. Merge with it. Mother of all souls, and the smell of freshly applied paint invading the nose out here just underlines the *changes* in the fundament having taken place, in the very building, no matter how successfully covered up or not they happened to be.

Reparations here and there, veiled by the shadows; despite the lack of illumination, you could still tell they'd been carried out with a constitutionalised bored professionalism.

So, at least Suzushiro Construction was good for that - absolutely no sloppy bad job to tarnish the family name.

But, all of it looking deceivingly close to the old, though, and yet, and yet - it *wasn't*. Far from it.

/Exactly the same way it's with us now,/ Natsuki mused, frowning as she firmly crossed her arms.

All of them standing in this equally new/old unlit hallway now, and that was something to be together about as well. *A* togetherness in the dark. Why not? Anything to seize and make it work, was only human. 'Carpe' this to fit the need.

The Academy, perfectly quiet as a grave, with only twelve people standing in it...

Quite different when there wasn't students busily walking the halls; brimming with the inactivity in the rebuilt school, the sounds that ought to be, came along with the place. Making an entity out of itself with the sheer absence, and she feels her skin react to it vaguely before her attention is drawn to the screen of Chie's mobile, flipped open for the umpteenth time, blurred pale blue flashing, ghost-like blitz in the dimness -

And then the switch's found near the doorframe by whoever's standing nearest, flicked, two seconds - and they're flooded in fluorescent light from above, blinking in unison at the sudden brightness. The floor beneath her sneakers, reflecting it for a quick beat, the untouched sharp shine still to it.

A gentle brush against the back of her hand brings the now of her heartbeat rushing back, and it's Mai's beaming face she looks up at. Cheeks flushed with delight and unbounded joy. Mikoto firmly latched onto her right arm, trying to mimick the smile from a lower height.

"You coming with us? Mikoto and I are heading home now."

In the voice, too. And Natsuki isn't going to tell her anytime soon, but she *is* distantly impressed that the girl isn't showing signs of having a hoarse voice after loudly, constantly straining those vocal chords of hers for the last hour and a half!

Heading... Oh. Right. Her new 'abode'.

If the biker had to say anything herself, she was subduedly proud of how quickly she had resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to live together with Mai and Mikoto for who knew how long to come:

The question of when the smashed apartment would be back to reasonably habitable again was pretty much officially thrown up somewhere in the clear blue cloudless sky. Anywhere between two months and more seemed likely, and a whole lot not to done about the situation as it was. Only time to heal, only space to...

Adapt? And, yeah, again, wasn't that the answer to a whole lot of questions right there?

Staying at Tokiha's place for the nearest future wasn't the worst scenario she could imagine. Or at least she hoped it wasn't. There had to be some free meals to be got now and then from that sort of arrangement, right?

Answer is a tiny shrug, hand smoothing a strand of marine hair behind a small ear.

"No, you two go... I think... I'll stay a little while." Unfortunately, it's too late to cover when she throws a glance over at where the chestnut-haired teenager is standing, talking lowly with Kanzaki, and the following thought in her head is strangely, unhelpfully instant: /if it hadn't been for a specific sexual preference in that certain mix, those two could have really have made a pretty couple. Maybe even have spawned some pretty kids, too./

Which... okay, isn't 'Happy Mental Picture' at all, because. Because she had never had to share Shizuru with anyone, had she? Always there for her, laptop and anything else in the world she had needed provided, and had she ever appriciated that? *Really* considered what it exactly meant as a hinted gesture? Unlimited supply of help presented toward her to just take and take from...

And, looking at that, looking at herself - what kind of friend had *she* been in answer, throughout all the time they'd known each other?

/I've been an idiot, haven't I?/

The heaviness of the fact sinks through her breast like a piece of swallowed lead, and, of course, the busty female catches on in the meantime. The corners of her mouth jerking upwards in a private smile, totally inviting to a scowl, if it wasn't because Natsuki just noticed her facial slip, was focused on quickly finding her cool again, trying to look unaffected. Fix the stance, indifferent expression in place, and turning her head to the side like *it* was nothing.

"Okay. Just try to be quiet when you come in. I won't lock." The carroty girl leaning in, playfully winking, and the soft squeeze delivered to Natsuki's hand before turning around - such a moronically easy thing to deliver. To do.

It still left her unsure what to feel about it. All this offered openness without reservations like this, and... it only made her question herself followingly about it, about what kind of person *she* was to even question it. Whoever said her own brain was easy to figure out? Especially now where there was only a steady realisation of the amount of feelings, thoughts, altered perspectives she would had to deal with.

Have an opinion on. Make her goddamn *mind* up about.

*Damn it.*

Because.

Because Shizuru had only held her for the duration of that first song: cage of arms cradling her shoulders, slow soft breath above one ear, and the younger female's body a tense wire underneath both, partly because she couldn't help the instinctive reaction, and partly because the thought of /What now?/ kept beating through her head along with the played rhythm filling the room.

Completely obvious. The crimson-eyed girl must have sensed her unease quickly - seeing as she smoothly drew away from behind her afterwards, even opted for a seat on the opposite couch once there was one free, and, Christ, *again*, since Natsuki couldn't help it, she found herself keeping a sidelong eye on the female, just to make sure that...

What? The former kaichou wasn't staring fixedly at her with unconcealed lust?

Return of 'Idiot Natsuki' in that aspect. Somewhat. Fifty percent stupidity and paranoia each, and she *was* able to see it herself, if nothing else.

Shizuru... who didn't looked back at her. At all. Attention directed up at whoever went to claim the spotlight, gently smiling the whole time, politely clapping every time a song ended. Who ignored a Nao sending her utterly disgusted, unsubtle glares - pointed, perfected hurtful things - and a nervous Yukino, looking like the cowering hare after a hunt is over, everytime her eyes dared to rest on the Kyoto woman.

And Natsuki had wanted to tell them that she understood both of them, and that she wanted to fume and sneer at them, block Shizuru from their sight at the same time too, simply because...

This wasn't how things ought to be anymore. Definitely not if she could change them.

And wasn't that partly the reason why she was able to watch Mai and Mikoto walk off together with eleven other backs, (everyone expect Nao, who hadn't bothered to wait long for the lights to come on before she'd sauntered off) with only a spreading calmness, feeling of safe inside... that felt absolutely wonderful, and nothing else?

Like it should be.

And when she sensed Shizuru stepping to her side a few minutes later, looking at her, an open searching look, all Natsuki could do then was give a hint of a smile.

Start to walk too - didn't need words for this, to let her know to follow.

Outside, and the night sky is impressively star-scattered, much more than usually during this month. The moon is out, laying the darkness bare and thin underneath a curtain of moonshine, the blackness... an ebony beetle on its back, legs frantically kicking in vain to help it turn around.

Natsuki can smell grass and flowers and something that isn't leaves starting to bud as they slowly walk down the way she's chosen, shoulders close enough to brush. After what seems like years, but is in fact only four minutes, she speaks again. Clears her throat, and clenches her hands into fists when she finds no jeans pockets to shove them down into.

"I didn't know you could sing."

Which, not surprisingly, it had turned out the other female could. Obviously some nifty attachment that went with the accent.

She doesn't need to look at Shizuru's face to know her eyes squint, just fractionally, in... happiness? Relief, maybe, since it meant it was okay to talk, and it doesn't take long before a soft answer is uttered. "Neither was I aware that Natsuki owns such an angelic voice."

Snort at that, and a solid smile this time, because, yes, joking was good. Joking was more than welcome in order to break the ice.

They walk on until Natsuki decides to step to the broadest tree she spots, leans against it with her back, and waits until the chestnut-haired girl copies the position next to her. The bark, felt somewhat through clothes, isn't nearly rough enough to distract from the conversation they are about to have.

The biker frowns, states. "We died."

"Yes."

Looking up, and the flimsy grey clouds above are drifting, leisurely crawling over the sky and across the full moon now and again.

"...*Was* there anything? Uhm. I mean... after."

Typical. Give her one situation where she really wished to be eloquent...

Hears Shizuru move a little, probably to tilt her head back against the trunk, voice low and still thrillingly soft despite everything it should bear now. "The only thing I remember... is your warmth. Your arms around me. Your heartbeat beneath my ear. I accepted death with everything I was right then."

/That makes me your Heaven? Hell? Or... probably both./

_Nothing,_ it meant. And if this didn't throw a couple of worldwide renowned religions into perspective...

The younger ex-HiME smoothes her hair back, tries to make the information fit, slide and settle, inside her mind.

"It's... just strange being back. It feels *awkward*, somehow. Like having already used your one chance, and then... I don't know -"

Long sigh whistled through teeth, one foot starting to toe the ground in front of it. Flattening the grass experimentally, digging the earth up where possible. Watches it thoughtfully, before stopping the act altogether.

"- like having another shoved at you, I guess. Just like that. And you need to figure it all out on your own," she haltingly finished after a moment of consideration.

Silence, after. When it seems like it's about to fully stretch, wrap greedily around the honesty and turn it into something else, the older teenager chooses to ask, a velvet noise offered up to the night.

"Are you afraid of me?" So cautiously muttered, and too close, although she hasn't even attempted to place herself within Natsuki's needed /distance/ space.

Abated breath, quick, more a gasp, and. A sudden wish that she smoked, so she could have a cigarette or the pack itself to fumble with, keep her hand busy on, turn and swirl and crumple between eager restless fingers...

God. This... she should answer with 'More Grown-up Natsuki' for this. *Needed* to, to do it... right. It still causes the small portion of blood to immediately rush to her cheeks as she answers (hopes the shadows hide it), as she tries keeping her low voice even.

"You love me so much, Shizuru. Almost as if I can feel it like this... *pressure* at me. Something that wants to get closer to me than my own skin..."

And she falls silent. And she listens to the sounds of their surroundings, whispering through the branches. And she waits for the response, which comes out just as quiet, just as short as she expected it would:

"I see."

More or less dramatically, the moon is blocked by a group of passing clouds then, stealing all the light to see by. For two seconds the world is lost in front of her before it returns. The tree seems to be a mile away somewhere behind her, despite her being perfectly capable of feeling the tangible contact between it and her leaning spine.

The fresh air is sweet in the sheer intake of it.

"But... it was there all along, wasn't it? So... I understand." And why does those words end up sounding as an excuse all of a sudden? Oh, because. This, all her fault, and she wants to be walking, and she wants to be stronger, to be able to steel herself more properly, for *all* of it, and that controlled Kyoto-ben is like a quiet, familiar consolation in the darkness when it sounds again.

"I - can I touch you, Natsuki?"

The question, expectedly, makes her stiffen. Makes her go rigid for a good frozen moment, as she stares hard down at her own pale hand clenched near her thigh, before allowing her shoulders to slump.

Swallows and blinks, once.

And nods. Turns her head to face Shizuru with closed eyes. Waits and waits, until the air is like a thick blanket over her and the expectation is an unbearable sharp tingle in every single nerve ending, almost too much, when the smooth, slender hand finally comes up to touch her cheek, cup it - feels fingertips trace and caress. Wills herself to hold still, to let this be.

Let this happen.

Can't help it. She wants to be nearer it. Seek it.

Leans forward to chase it, and their foreheads meet, and they're breathing in sync, and they are. so. *near* each other. Forms of their faces touching, gently sliding against each other's, the sides of their noses, making a failed attempt at symmetry.

It's almost like... kissing, in a way. Just without lips, just with. Minds instead, or something. Gut feelings, instincts. Heart thumps loud in her ears and skin warmth, Shizuru's softness, craved, and frightening her completely senseless at the same time.

Feels the tears from Shizuru's lashes fall and drip down her own cheeks, leaving wet salty trails on her.

"It's... please. Just this, for now. Okay?" Thin flesh of Natsuki's lids trembling, breath exhaled through quivering nostrils.

"Ookini, Natsuki. Ookini."

And truly, the crimson-eyed girl sounds - so grateful. Moved, simply by this.

New life, and a new chance, and trying to do everything better, more right this time around. It's all in the younger female's head, ache inside her skull, the prospect of it all making her so very dizzy. What's still to come and how to deal with it, and she doesn't realise that she has said some of the thoughts out loud, but it doesn't matter doesn't matter, even if she has -

"So many things to think of. Take responsibility for. Fuck. I just... I'll do my best. I promise. Whatever... whatever it is, I'll *be* there. Just... give me more time..."

A hand reaches up, to touch her right cheek again, and she feels the other head nodding against hers, the gentle rubbing of it, again and again. Finger that accidentially brushes her lobe, and it's a wonder she manages to suppress the shudder that wants to run through her body.

"Anything for you."

/Please./

"*Shizuru*."

Natsuki's hands grab at her older friend's shoulders, pulls her towards her. And she buries her face into the space between neck and shoulder, inhales the scent of silken hair like a drowning person would oxygen.

Holds her more firmly to her than when they were kneeling in the church.

Presses herself hard against the body she has her arms wrapped around to, hopefully, make it just a tiny bit easier to take.

For both of them.

end.

* * *

End Notes: Evil Omake Idea! Why can't I shake the image of Shizuru singing a barely understandable version of "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross during the karaoke? *g*


	3. of under me you

Summary: The Glorious Mandatory ShizNat Smut Story!

Rating: M

Disclaimer: If only they *were* mine…

A/N: Title taken from the poem "I like your body" by E. E. Cummings.

* * *

And, yes, this would be around the point which seemed to call for her to grow extremely, uncomfortably self-conscious:

Standing naked in front of an equally nude Shizuru, prone on her own bed, in her own bedroom, propped up on her elbows as she quietly, steadily regarded Natsuki with this smouldering *look* that honestly deserved some kind of unusually ambitious word describing it. Because, just once, in a situation like this, it would be forgiveable to reach beyond any known vocabulary.

It ought to get capitalised. Really. Or maybe turned into one of those types of nouns only a selected exclusive group would get when they heard it mentioned...

And she knows:

It's... non-thoughts going on in her head; busy with just trying to take everything in, process it and decide on any proper reaction to it all, from the quicker heartbeats to the shiver wanting to race down her spine, because here she is. Here *they* are, and heyinafewminutes "The Sex" will probably be happening. Taking place. Two virginities lost in the happening.

State of nervousness had obviously been quite inevitable from the start.

"Natsuki?"

Mind snapping back like a rubber band just in time to see the small, questioning frown form, tip of a tongue nervously flicking out and over lips to wet them. Watches the glisten left behind on them, and when the slim thighs unconsciously slightly part in a shift - sees the soft gleaming of slick, healthy-looking pinkness nestled between them. Curls darkened to sepia there by moistness.

Oh. /I'm going to be touching it soon, *taste* too?/

Maybe staring openly at her girlfriend's vulva could be designated as taking the first tentative step towards this... new chapter of their relationship.

Blinks herself back to being acutely, sensually *bound* in her own body, standing there, floor under the balls of her feet insanely cold compared to how the rest of her feels, and how her nipples are these tightening, increasingly hardening pebbles, need humming in them to be chafed by the flawless smoothness of the form over on the bed.

Magnetic attraction. And even though her body seems to be 'All Systems Go'... Shizuru still looks worried.

Natsuki shakes her head once, hair dancing around, twist of her lips to give a quirky, assuring smile.

"Mm. Nothing." /Not having second thoughts, just... not quite sure what I should be feeling./

The reclining woman only nods in answer, movement like a steady slow brushstroke, up and down, but still with traces of doubt remaining in her eyes.

Which meant she had to show her. Had to do it, just to make sure that she could *see* -

Again, no real thinking going on. Brain on autopilot and this - this was about letting the body have control, right? Natsuki's left hand, pulled down by gravity as it runs leisurely down over her own breast, unintentionally flicking a nipple on the journey, which decides to immediatedly tell her the interest it had in what *that* was, but she ignores the sensation - presses her lips a bit more together instead in an outward sign of controlled suppression. Because, dammit, she was strong enough to do this.

Lets it rest on her flat tummy, and she briefly closes her eyes as she starts rubbing the smooth skin slightly. Firm stomach muscles just beneath.

The touch - making everything warmer, prickle, like, simply by this, she's redirecting, motioning where all the blood should go, slender magic hand, and when she slides her lids open again...

Looking. Shizuru is looking. At her hand. Dreamy glaze to the hooded crimson eyes locked on it, white row of teeth biting down on her bottom lip as she hungrily watches the lazy circular movements.

Has to fight the shiver down from seeing how strongly it affects Shizuru and when she *does* drag her eyes up from the body part, oh can *feel* the heavy weight of it pulled deliciously over her, finally comes up to the other female's, Shizuru makes sure to catch and hold Natsuki's gaze with her own, eyes the colour of a fresh wound now, and she reaches to her with every part of her exposed body, laid out to be visually and literally feasted on.

The unadulterated *need* rushing at her like an ocean wave. Musk scent and sweat on the air, totally dizzying, disorienting her.

Natsuki doesn't spare time then in getting to the bed in a few strides, pristine linned wrinkling under knees and hands as she quickly stretches out alongside her companion.

Their heads turned towards each other. Quietly taking each other in, stretching on into what is further away and choking close at the same time. What's in the air...

Shizuru holds herself perfectly still. It's only after a minute has passed that she ruins the serenity of the scene by lifting her right hand, slowly bringing it up to Natsuki's face. Touches the upturned cheek infinitely gently. Studies her hard, eyes darting back and forth across her features, like she's some kind of riddle formed in flesh or a thought yet to be had, a wish made corporeal.

It's enough to make Natsuki sense the blush threatening to come on, before the whispered sentence filters through to the thinking part of her.

"You are so beautiful..."

A time about a year ago where those words would have made her bolt from the bed, with their essential meaning. Now they only make her giddy.

All about *possibility* -

God - she... she could ask for anything right now, and she would get it, wouldn't she? No doubt about it; Shizuru's mouth on her, between her legs, licking her thoroughly from slit to the sharp point of her clit, or, stroking and slicking her open and slowly filling her with two fingers, until they'd be this held firm sweet burn between her legs to just clench and move on, and gently, kindly fucking her open...

The thought makes her sex instantly tingle, and. Okay. New sensation of wetness, down there. Ache growing.

Love-making is a new thing. She just needs to... figure it out. Brave it, without sword or shield, only with a honest open face, her throat bared. Shizuru will help out... Gah. No. Wrong approach.

They'll do this *together*. The act itself at least seemed to dictate that much. She wasn't the only one here who hadn't tried it before, after all.

It's because of those eyes. Gazing into them and all their vulnerable splendour, understanding and love endlessly for her only in them, that she doesn't notice at what exact point the other girl has taken hold of her wrist, is in fact pulling the hand over sheets, up to her own face, and is, ah. Limb turned, sweet suction as her index and middle fingers get licked, lips gently fitting around them.

It's like a spark; the instant sharp bite from small kitten teeth piercing, and all there is to do is *react* to it.

Pulls the hand away, lets her other shoot up to hold at Shizuru's shoulder, and Natsuki is over her in a second, leaning in close, almost crouching, almost on top of the lying girl.

That it would be this easy - why not? If she probably had given it more thought, she would sooner or later have wound up with the same conclusion.

Staring at those parted lips. She can still distinctively feel the wetness on her sucked fingers, between her own legs. Yes. Time is whooshing past somewhere beyond her, far, far removed from what's going on in this bed.

Only the beat inside her own body. Heat rising from the older girl's like a heady scent here.

"- ease."

Noise brings her focus back to her girlfriend's face, the frown and discomfort written in the lines.

"Wha'?"

"Please, Natsuki."

Can tell from the tone Shizuru uses that she is fighting every impulse simply not to flip her over, and reverse their positions. Kyoto-ben, perversely thrilling sound it had when it held a note of pain.

And yet...

Natsuki never wanted her to be hurting again. Never.

So.

She gets to work; lowers her head, mouth, blue hair falling down, curtaining around their faces. Tentative tongue over the lips, tracing the form of them, before they part on a barely audible sigh, and she's dipping inside and twirling with the strong muscle reaching for hers there. Taste of spit and sweet warmth and tea, and she can't help but smile a bit into the kiss, so familiar so soothing, as she delves deeper into the love, whimpers she finds.

Allows herself to treasure them, enjoy all the *openness* for her to sink down into, and only then it really hits: /We're really going to do this?/

Crystal clear dawning, of every fear attached to every doubt she's ever had, collects and shoots firehot and honey-thick through her at that moment, right from the contact on her lips down to her sex, as she lets the pads of her fingers cling at Shizuru's cheek, holds onto it and drinks, sucks, licks the kiss to her, because it's instinct, because it's lust, and to think she would ever have fought this...

Yeah, another mistake. Groans loudly against the surrendering of all her senses in this act.

And lowers herself fully down upon Shizuru, flushed skin aligned all along from chest to shin. When their naked bodies meet completely unhindered, it's - like chaos, a cosmos sizzling and cracking apart, it's freefall and /ohyessogood/. Overwhelming flesh shock, like slicing your hand on an opened can of beans, and.

First after the red line wells and starts dripping when you realise...

(what this is)

how unbelieveably *exquisite* this is, simply measured in tactile parameters.

They both stay frozen, as if tremling or speaking or breathing will ruin this moment. Their ribcages still persist in moving quietly in sync, though, breasts pressing, nipples delivering small constant scrapes. Shizuru most of all gives off the appearance of someone who's been torn out of a dream a second ago.

Kissing herself raw, and oh god she's rocking against her, hips meeting, falling into a rhythm of constantly rubbing together, wet, wet and smearing. Exhales loud through her nostrils, and her lover is spreading, giving her more room to press herself firmly into. *Fit* into.

I've wanted to make love to you for so, so long - can read the sincerity, heart's poem in the eyes under her, and that's ultimatively the reason that makes her pull a bit away, and support herself above the older female with her other arm

Can't help it, *has to* - press her hand to a collarbone, drag it down and hold the shape of a warm breast for while, flick the straining nipple, before letting it travel further downwards, and she's reaching down and cupping Shizuru's need before even consciously making the decision to do so; but how unproblematic it is in its pure simplicity to part those congested, incredibly soft, slick folds with index and ring finger, and dip inside with the middle...

Would never have guessed...

Glances down, and Shizuru looks like she's about to break.

"It's okay..." Natsuki grates out, of all things, and why that's what her fogged mind winds up suggesting as to what should be said right then, she wouldn't trust herself to know at this point.

Pointless, anyway.

In any case, she finds it more important to let all her fingers gently run up and down the length of the plumb, drenched sex, before starting a focused massage at the tight entrance. Prods experimentally with her forefinger there. Feels the muscles grip at it, beckoning it inside.

Oh yes, she's ready. Pulsing for it.

Rubs a bit more demandingly at the throbbing flesh, faster, until everything's so wet and sticky it can't be anything else than sweet, sweet torture. Long groan rumbling through Shizuru's throat, and her hands are holding Natsuki's face, feeding it right back into the younger girl's mouth. Vibration against her tongue.

Makes sure that she has the attention she can get, red eyes watering in bliss, before - gliding the tip of the first finger inside, and waits with pushing further until hearing the low gasp and moan it results in. Starts then to slide it in and out for a dozen of times. Caresses the rippled walls, the throbbing all around, alive, needing.

When the sliding turns too easy, she adds another digit, for friction's sake. Lets it build, slow start again, until it's safe enough to pick up speed and firmly pump them inside, because oh Shizuru could take it. Shizuru would want it this way.

Shizuru, hands at the shoulders now, gripping and clutching while she throatily moans into marine hair, and even *that* she manages to do prettily.

"Natsuki..."

It's all she can manage before coming, hard, groaning, clamping *down* on the intrusion, never wanting to let go, stay always, always, her back a perfect arch off the bed. Shakes her way through the climax, before falling bonelessly back, all rosy-cheeked and oh so beautiful.

The next many long moments are spent with heavy breathing, from both sides. Forehead resting on a naked shoulder, and the following quiet only makes her suspect the chestnut-haired woman of having dropped off to sleep. Turns out she couldn't be more wrong.

When Natsuki lifts her face again, it's only to have her lips eagerly caught by another pair. Kissing, again. And not slow and wallowing in the repeated break and fitting of their mouths as she might have expected to get, but... wild and forceful and demanding.

Pulls enough oxygen in through her nose as she can catch, before forgetting what she was about to... because an incredibly good-feeling hand is scooting between them, seeking where where all sensitivity in her frame has opted to collect, Shizuru's fingers there, swirling in the hotness, moistness, deft and clever, too insisting not to be noticed, and, gentlepushpush - and she feels herself breached.

Feels the exact moment it happens, and holds her breath instinctively in response.

Up in -

- side her. Only has time for a gasp, a hitched breath before it's joined by a second digit, sliding easily within her, like it's nothing, always meant to be there, and shit had she been *this* ready from the start? and she's spreading her thighs wider, angling her hips, knees down into the mattress, to receive.

Opening up for them to continue on gliding inside with each carefully delivered thrust, to the hilt, and when the thumb slips down over her pubic bone, positions itself comfortably where it can just keep rubbing at her erect nub just *right*, over and over and over and -

Shizuru lets her free hand settle on a hipbone, cupping and holding firmly onto it. Digs her nails into the heated skin, pulls and pushes at it in a purposeful motion. No escape from this.

"A-aah," jerked from the younger female when the two fingers hit a particular sensitive spot inside, making her see stars and clouds and the universe far, far away, outside her own head. Wow. Sex could make you stoned. Or a philosopher. Maybe equally both.

Shizuru is appearing to be... more at peace than she has ever seen her be before. Unique kind of light in her eyes, from finally being allowed to sate a hunger that has raged in her soul for untolerably long. "Are you alright?"

And she has to smile at that. Because wasn't it typical? Always making certain she was OK, even during sex, with fingers pushing in and out of Natsuki's vagina. Quick nod to appease her lover's worries, accompanied by a wordless plea for more, which she gets.

Harder and faster and held and penetrated -

Rocking her way into the rhythm Shizuru's hand establishes, sweat forming at her temples too, god, riding the digits, and a breathy "I love you. So much," groaned against her gasping mouth.

It's all it takes:

Intense heatwash through her, and her orgasm burns through her, from where the hand keeps thrusting at her, beneath and just up and up and *reaching* until it feels like the blazing pleasure is positively pushing up against her uvula, and she's completely engulfed by blind bliss that keeps her in its chokehold oh for how long?

The next thing Natsuki is certain of is finishing the last bout of convulsions wracking her and collapsing on top of the other ex-HiME as she tries to remember how to breathe again.

Only this here for her to focus on; resting. The Kyoto woman's body - a territory she plans to know exclusively by smell, taste and touch. And the thoughts that sprout:

It's obviously some kind of animal connection. Lust. Yet... there's also a snaring love that laps at her heart insistingly, exactly the same way she plans to do to Shizuru's pussy...

As soon as she has regained some of her strength again.

end.


	4. Flecks of Happy to Spot Doubts With

Summary: Sober Shizuru. Drunk Natsuki. A conversation.

Rating: G

Disclaimer: They're too pretty to be mine.

A/N: Post-anime. I take pleasure in titillating Shizuru. This makes me a bad, bad person. This is nothing new.

* * *

Shizuru closed her eyes for a pregnant moment.

Not so much against anything - as just to focus; the pleasant weight of a slender arm draped over her shoulders, warmth from the curve of a hipbone pressing against hers, the subtle scent of that shampoo Natsuki seemed to favour of recent date, inhaled on each breath. Almost a promise in the nearness of their bodies that there could be more of this shared intimacy...

Small shake of her head, to dismiss the thought, and she had to faintly smile, even if it happened to be solely for her own sake.

Some things never changed, it seemed.

"Damn Midori! Last time I ever let her buy me "one" drink! You know... you know what she is, Shizuru, that woman?" the gruff voice grumbled near her right ear in a thoughtful, slightly slurred tone as she concentrated on placing her foot in front of the other.

The two of them were slowly but steadily moving in a forward direction, which was... a good thing; Natsuki was most helpfully leaning heavily against the older girl as they took one step at a time down one of Tsukimori's many streets on the outlook for a cab. Or, correction: Shizuru was doing the looking. The blue-haired girl, head bowed and mumbling, was on the other hand more busy with some exceptionally silly-looking slumping along the length of the other female's body.

Shizuru let out an inaudible sigh as she hoisted her friend's weight a bit further up onto her shoulder. If Natsuki continued sliding down her side like a piece of meat covered in baby-oil, Shizuru would have no choice than to sweep her up into her arms and carry her bridal style soon.

Well. She wasn't going to lie. The thought *did* hold an attraction.

"No, what is she, Natsuki?" she politely asked as she scanned the cars driving past them to their left.

Nope. Nothing in sight that looked like taxis for now. She didn't have any idea how long this would take.

A frown found its way to the younger female's face at the sound of the answer. Couldn't see it, but felt the changes on the forehead form near the side of her throat, sensitized skin there alert to any minor shift. "She's a *liar*... She said 'only *one* drink'!"

And if it didn't sound like a certain *someone* was going to keep persisting in their innocence, even after what had occured during tonight's 'excesses'...

Shizuru decided to humor her crush. It was easier.

"Well, the "Welcome Back" party was held for her, after all. I guess it was bound to turn out more or less... _wild_, given her known interest in competitive drinking."

A groan, and definite clutching at her shoulder from the hand resting there. "Yeah, well, I wish she'd stayed in Pakistan or wherever it was! Away from me with all her booze pimping..."

Chuckle at that.

"Come now - you weren't the only victim tonight."

"Mai *deserves* it. She arranged the whole thing."

Which was true, if nothing else. If there had been a person who seemed to have had just as much fun as Midori did, it'd most certainly been the busty female. After all, the last thing Shizuru had seen before dragging the biker out into the cooler night was a very intoxicated Mai on the club's dancefloor with one arm hooked around Tate-kun's neck... and the other around Reito's. Looking quite pleased - a lot like someone who'd just won the lottery, actually.

"A little further, Natsuki... and I can rent us a cab." That would work as bait to encourage her to walk a bit further on. /Hopefully/. How long again did it usually take getting one here in downtown Tsukimori on a Friday night?

"Mmmnn," was the only thing uttered against the column of her throat, blue head resting heavily on her shoulder, every exhalation of breath tickling feather-lightly under the chestnut-haired female's chin.

Oh, this was not easy. Not easy at all. Her body was already asking if it was alright to react to the sensations coursing through it and to let the stream of blood rush around at greater speed...

Only now she could really feel the impact of how much she actually needed a quick rest.

Shizuru slowed their pace, and managed to get them both lined up against whatever wall happened to be within reasonable distance, stoically letting herself serve as cushion for Natsuki against the chill surface.

"Let's just wait here until I spot one..."

The words seemed more directed at the tendrils of grey smoke twirling against the black of night above than to the young woman she was holding securely in her arms.

The steady throbbing of booming club music could be heard from further ahead. Absently listened to the pulse in it for a while, since the muffled sung lyrics were beyond deciphering, before growing aware of the small sniffles from a pert nose pressing against her throat's skin, moving up to her ear, hair.

"You smell nice." It was the closest thing to a nuzzle she had ever received from anybody in her life. And it *did* feel alarmingly good. So, she allowed it to last for another guilty second before angling her head away, reaching up with her hand. Cupped the pretty face and watched the glazed green eyes fix on her own.

A slow, easy smile formed on Natsuki's lips. "Heh. This is self-restraint, isn't it?" Because it was all there for her to look at, wasn't it? Nothing hidden, nothing...

'The very face of it', she wanted to say, but offered a small crooked smile instead, a hint of dark in her hooded eyes as she studied her back. "You noticed?" This near, she could openly admire the embraced beauty from forehead to chin with careful attention.

Short, rough laugh rolling out from somewhere inside Natsuki's chest. "I'm not *that* drunk." Consumed alchohol had this effect of dropping the biker's voice more in pitch than it usually was - as well as turning it husky. Shizuru was desperately trying not to shiver at the sound.

Covered the weakness up by letting her flirting smile grow wider instead. Breathed the question as close to those pink lips as she dared."What would you do if I kissed you now? Started touching you?"

A jaw-creaking yawn as the younger woman pushed her cheek more into the hand, all sleepy smile and sleepy eyes up at her. Felt the bone and flesh shift and move in her palm. How her mouth grew curiously dry at the look she got.

"I'd say you were taking advantage of me -"

Sharp pang in her chest at those words.

"- and I know you wouldn't do that."

Shizuru sensed how her own smile fell, instant serious expression forming. "No, I wouldn't." Needed, *needed* her to understand that, trust that. Know it as the truth.

"So, to make sure that's not the case, I'll do both."

"Both?"

"The kissing and the touching,"

She was certain she'd missed out on something important a split second ago.

"I don't think you shou-"

The kiss that promptly landed on her still opened mouth followingly was wet and clumsy, uncoordinated enough to make their foreteeth briefly clack together, and Shizuru heard herself give a tiny whimper before she could even attempt to suppress the noise.

There and then gone. Natsuki pulled away with a loud smack, corners of her mouth already curling up in a goofy smile as she studied the stunned expression on her friend's face.

A heavy frown, and a mock serious tone followed. "There. Now, behave."

And then there seemed nothing else to do than blink, and blink, and blink some more, before letting the soft laughter break from her, Natsuki joining in it, the girl in her arms seemingly having accepted that she was at the mercy of her friend for the given moment since she just seemed to press her body more into the offered warmth, tried to fold herself around it.

She couldn't help it. Smiled the smallest peck into the marine hair, and knew without a doubt that the receiver felt it from the way she went calm, surrendered, tried to make herself as comfortable as possible in their current position.

And most importantly - was OK with being given it back.

"You do realise I'll remind you of this as soon as you're sober, Natsuki? For a long, long time to come?"

Trying to keep the giggle inside. She really truly *was*.

A handful of moments before the response came, drawled into her hair.

"Maybe..."

Seemed to be more in that statement, so Shizuru patiently waited for the rest to be murmured, which came so lowly she had to strain her ears in order to catch it.

"Maybe I won't mind. *That* much."

And Natsuki's hand, a bit chilled from the air and the not moving, reached around and unsurely groped after one of the other girl's resting on her lower back until finding it. Clutched at it in a fumbling squeeze.

Shizuru felt her heart do that quick flutter it always had the few times Natsuki had ever treated her to one of her genuine smiles during the time they had known each other.

And started pretending to keep an eye out for any available cabs passing by in the noisy, neonlit night.

end.


End file.
